She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
