Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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