when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
