What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
