i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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