yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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