if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
