also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize