Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.