i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.