Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

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  (615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked. http://tfl.nu/g4y8
  Replies (45) Good night (1447) Bad night (9362) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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  (613): Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww (1-613): no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call http://tfl.nu/pane
  Replies (27) Good night (869) Bad night (4092) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?

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  (847): so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed? http://tfl.nu/gsu7
  Replies (20) Good night (3852) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"

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  (518): After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you" http://tfl.nu/k4ce
  Replies (42) Good night (1240) Bad night (6600)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

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  (551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit http://tfl.nu/ma7y
  Replies (45) Good night (8960) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.

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  (+61): I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/eynz
  Replies (19) Good night (956) Bad night (6581) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.

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  (309): I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches. http://tfl.nu/dizl
  Replies (19) Good night (7691) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later

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  (717): check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later http://tfl.nu/adck
  Replies (8) Good night (2419) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.

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  (661): I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day. http://tfl.nu/ltd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1926) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?

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  (215): Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/d57s
  Replies (7) Good night (1412) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.

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  (865): He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends. http://tfl.nu/ncfq
  Replies (7) Good night (2567) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  I'm out of town so we should be golden.

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  (419): I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me. (1-419): I'm out of town so we should be golden. http://tfl.nu/4amm
  Replies (5) Good night (2009) Bad night (311)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!

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  (618): the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!! http://tfl.nu/py94
  Replies (3) Good night (1662) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are

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  (775): Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are http://tfl.nu/iecj
  Replies (11) Good night (328) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.

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  (406): Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'. (901): I want there to be fog machines and unicorns. http://tfl.nu/0ciy
  Replies (1) Good night (853) Bad night (598)

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