Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
