we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table