Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.