ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
