she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
