If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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