i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
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Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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