okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
