I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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