Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
