He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
