i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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