The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
