Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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