I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize