Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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