At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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