I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
