i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
