i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize