lets start a swedish sibling band together
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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