I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
