i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
