What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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