She is in my trunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
