apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
