My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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