Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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