I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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