Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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