dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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My ATM looks so different sober.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
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He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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