No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
