Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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