The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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