He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
