don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
