How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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