how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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