Moan for me like Helen Keller
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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