someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
