my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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