It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
