he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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