8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
