garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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