It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
