She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
