i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
