you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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