guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish I only lived at night.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
