it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
